what the hell, dude

What the hell, my dudes. I’ve been giving myself a hard time recently for taking an actual break. But really, it’s pretty necessary. When I feel something like this, I have the desire to say it out loud and tell you folks about it. I’m not sure if this is an impulse that others feel too but if you’re there and it’s happening to you then:

  1. you’re not alone

  2. your creativity is nourished by space and time

  3. feeling the pressure to constantly work/create/do is a component of pressure that we can free ourselves from with practice

I’m a list maker (oh goodness, can I really make myself a list) so I’m enjoying this format and I hope y’all can hop on this bandwagon too. Here’s what I’m doing to practice not sinking into guilt and pressure around taking time to recuperate: 

  1. deep breaths when the guilt comes up

  2. designate a support buddy that is also prioritizing their self-care and check in with them

  3. reminding myself that things come and go (money, ideas, creativity, projects) and that a place of lack is balanced by a period of abundance always

ok yes, but stop with the pressure amirite?

ok yes, but stop with the pressure amirite?

When I started this blog, I committed to posting every week. For the most part, I stuck to that schedule for several weeks (which I initially thought would be impossible!). But then I started really enjoying that structure and it became a pretty natural part of my week. At some point in December, keeping up with posts became unmanageable around the other projects I was working on so I let it slip for a week. Then two. And now, who knows how long it’s been (…the date stamp on my website…). At first, I wondered if that meant that I was going to stop posting; if this period of inactivity had dictated that I was done for good. But even though we are creatures of habit, we are also dynamic and changeable and I not only needed a break but also the option to dive back in when I was ready without experiencing the shame of inactivity.

Maybe this post is lining up a bit with the fact that lots of folks have been discussing New Year’s Resolutions with me recently. I’ve got a lot of goals for this year - some daily habits I’m cultivating, some things I’m just hoping to accomplish at sometime in the coming year. But the underlying ask that I have for myself is one that I pose every year:

“Please be kind, soft and accepting of my day-to-day needs and let my opting out one day/week/month not indicate that I have given up. Please let me always feel kindly towards renewing the habits that fuel me with health and positivity.”

Best of luck to you all as you cultivate a life that meets all your needs and releases you from the shame of any type of necessary infrequency.